Meet Patricia Evans

over 24 years

of experience.

Patricia Evans is an internationally recognized Interpersonal Communications Specialist. Drawing upon research of more than thirty thousand cases of verbally abusive relationships, she speaks and conducts workshops throughout the country. Founder of the Evans Interpersonal Communications Institute, now, EICI, Inc., where she offers workshops and training programs, Patricia Evans has single-handedly brought the subject of verbal abuse to the forefront of American consciousness.
Newsweek commended her first powerful book on the subject, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond (1992). Expanded edition (1996), as “A groundbreaking new book.” Click to learn more with links to buy on Amazon. Her books are available throughout the US, Canada, England, Mexico, Germany, France and in the Chinese Language.

This site is dedicated to the recognition and prevention of verbal abuse in homes, schools and workplaces.
The Verbal Abuse web site ushers in a new millennium of increased awareness.  It serves as a link to resources and information about verbal abuse.
This site will grow and change as we gather information. Indeed, it was only as recently as 1992 that verbally abusive relationships were named and described.
Powerful video about verbal abuse. Caution: Includes gut-wrenching scenes: MTV Ad with Helena Bonham Carter  
We invite you to contribute to our collective knowledge! If you have a resource that you think should be included here, please let us know.
Compelling trailer, a must-see introduction. Find it with more videos and interviews of Patricia, here: Verbal Abuse Trailer


What is verbal abuse?

Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you. Generally, verbal abuse defines people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth. The best way to deal with a verbally abusive relationship, whether you are the target of verbal abuse or the perpetrator, is to find out everything you can about verbally abusive relationships and their dynamics. Usually one person is blaming, accusing, even name calling, and the other is defending and explaining.

How can I learn more and get help?

There is a lot of information on this site. Please don’t miss the links above and throughout the site. As you find out about verbal abuse, you can find out what is ‘wrong’ with people who are verbally abusive, and what you might do about it. A phone consultation pulls it all together in just 1 hour. Please call 925 934 5972 for details.

I hope that if you suspect verbal abuse in your relationship, that you will read all five of my books. Each is a part of the picture.

What are some signs of verbal abuse?

Since the target of verbal abuse is often blamed, ignored, or yelled at, s/he may have difficulty recognizing just what is going on in the relationship. Most people targeted by verbal abuse try to explain to the abuser why what they’ve just heard is not true or not okay. They explain themselves because they believe the perpetrator is rational and can hear them and the relationship will then get better. Then they usually hear more verbal abuse, for instance, “You’re too sensitive.” At that point they don’t usually realize that they have just been defined, and, therefore, verbally abused again.

Since the target of verbal abuse is often blamed, ignored, or yelled at, s/he may have difficulty recognizing just what is going on in the relationship.

News and Events

Now Published in Spanish!

Now Published in Spanish!

Now in Spanish: El abuso verbal en las relaciones (The Verbally Abusive Relationship): Como reconocerlo y como responder (Spanish Edition) (Spanish) Paperback now available on Amazon.com!

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Call for a phone consultation: 925-934-5972

Gain clarity with just one conversation. I promise you that.

Peer Acknowledgments


Newsweek declared, The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond , -"A groundbreaking new book."
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David L. Quinby, Professor Emeritus

Human kind urgently needs this, both on an individual and a collective level. Nothing else ...
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Workshop for Therapists

360 professionals attended and 99% said, "Yes, we would recommend this training to our colleagues!"
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SF Examiner Book Review

"Riveting" ~ Keay Davidson, San Francisco Examiner
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Dr. Richard Jamison

"Enlightening" Dr. Richard Jamison, Director, Productivity Enhancement, Rutherford NJ
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Psychological Resource Center

"Powerful and Life-changing" Don Adams, President, Psychological Resource Center, Cary NC
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Hope Counseling

"Excellent" Antoinette Michaels, Hope Counseling, Sayville NY
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“This is worth ten years of therapy.”
``Shelly``New York
“I learned so much. Patricia, you have been so helpful – and so patient.”
``Xavier``Washington, D.C.
“I am stronger now, in so many ways. What you showed me is priceless – It’s worth ten times what it costs. Thank you for your wonderful work.”